This. Is. A. Real. Unedited. Advertisement. For. A. Real. Product.

It’s called the Rejuvenique RJV10KIT Facial Toning Mask Kit. But it looks like something you’d buy in a Philip K. Dick novel.

Now you know what to get me for Christmas. If you really, really like me, you’ll include an Alex Chiu immortality ring. And a Razor Gator.

“Botox seems pretty tame compared to facial self-tazing”, to quote Antinous from Boing Boing.